How To Be Socially Awkward

May 01, 2014

Step 1: Eye contact- it's extremely important to NEVER make any eye contact... with anyone. Only look at them at really bad moments, pause for a minute and then panic and look away. This is a really popular technique.

Step 2: Talk to people who clearly aren't interested in anything you say, about a really boring or overly complicated topic and forget the story half way through and start again-they'll love it! Perhaps even go off on a tangent because lets face it... who doesn't love a twist?!

Step 3: Laugh over dramatically. It's always REALLY cool looking when someone tells a joke that is of regular level of funniness, and you laugh so loudly and dramatically that you spray drink in their faces. Super Duper.

Step 4: Stand in a corner. 

Step 5: Go bright red whenever someone addresses you. Because to be honest your face can never be too pink! And everyone loves pink!

Step 6: Make inappropriate come backs or 'kill' the vibe, by taking the banter too far, which ends the fun. They were having way too much fun anyway!

Step 7: Breathe heavily-because you always forget how to breathe when ever someone else is around.

Step 8: Walk up to people and accidentally stand too close, and shuffle away awkwardly, noticing the mistake. Turn it into a funky dance!

Step 9: Bring people's moods right down, with a sob story about your past. Smiling and fun is for losers anyway.

Step 10: Be overly polite to people. Use your 'please' and 'thank you' after everything you say! Even if someone is rude.... 'thank you'.

Okay so to all those reading I hope you realise I am of course joking. These things are all things I myself tend to do, and I am a very socially awkward person, I'm not sure why! So I thought it'd be funny to list all these key qualities of being social awkward. So to anyone who aspires to be socially awkward.... I hope these help.

P.S I used the words 'socially awkward' too much in that last bit.... how socially awkward of me....

You Might Also Like



Popular Posts