I can smell the sea...

February 19, 2014

Ah the smell of the sea salt and the freshly fried chips. Candy floss and doughnuts gripping our noses and pulling us in. The golden sand that melts under your toes at first touch and the gorgeous blue waves that lightly crash at the shores. Bliss.
'Hold up a second, you can't be talking about Portsmouth?' You might say.
And of course, I am not. No in Portsmouth its quite the opposite.
First of all, the Seagulls- I have no idea what is up with them, but they aren't the nice traditional kind that you see stealing someone's chips on a holiday to Cornwall. These Seagulls seem angry all the time, and screech at you as if you've personally offended them. They appear out of the blue, and come at you with their wings out, from around the corner, making you suffer a mild panic attack. They also seem to be part of a cult or gang. I rarely see ONE seagull-singular. What do they want from me?
Secondly, unfortunately the sand on the beaches is not golden brown and crisp and the waves are not a shade of blue that matches the sweetest of eyes. No, these beaches are pebbly-yeah who doesn't love waddling along the shore collecting stones in their shoes? If this hasn't tempted you I don't know what will! I just love how when you reach the edge of the shore there is a miniature cliff that takes you to the actual shore line. I don't mean like a cliff you'd see in Dover, I mean a small mound or drop made of pebbles that have been pushed further back by the waves. So when you think you're at the shore line, you have to climb (or fall) down this pebble mound-unless the tide is in, because in that case there probably isn't a beach at all, or a road for that matter.
The weather here is just fantastic, with winds reaching 80mph, you no longer need a hair dryer. It's cheaper for everyone! I've always wanted to have hair like a troll- you know the kind you used to be able to get free with cereal? And now, with Portsmouth wind, I can! The rain is of course glorious, super icy and wets you right through. I mean, I hate putting dry clothes on in the morning- pfft boring.

I'm sure there are many wonderful things about Portsmouth (or anywhere else for that matter) but I won't share them all today.
I hope you sense my sarcasm, otherwise there will be some very confused readers.
Of course I am happy in Portsmouth, but hey, you've got to make light of a bad situation!

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