Ah the smell of the sea salt and the freshly fried chips. Candy
floss and doughnuts gripping our noses and pulling us in. The golden sand that
melts under your toes at first touch and the gorgeous blue waves that lightly
crash at the shores. Bliss.
'Hold up a second, you can't be talking
about Portsmouth?' You might say.
And of course, I am not. No in Portsmouth
its quite the opposite.
First of all, the Seagulls- I have no idea
what is up with them, but they aren't the nice traditional kind that you see
stealing someone's chips on a holiday to Cornwall. These Seagulls seem angry
all the time, and screech at you as if you've personally offended them. They
appear out of the blue, and come at you with their wings out, from around the
corner, making you suffer a mild panic attack. They also seem to be part of a
cult or gang. I rarely see ONE seagull-singular. What do they want from me?
Secondly, unfortunately the sand on the
beaches is not golden brown and crisp and the waves are not a shade of blue
that matches the sweetest of eyes. No, these beaches are pebbly-yeah who
doesn't love waddling along the shore collecting stones in their shoes? If this
hasn't tempted you I don't know what will! I just love how when you reach the
edge of the shore there is a miniature cliff that takes you to the actual shore
line. I don't mean like a cliff you'd see in Dover, I mean a small mound or
drop made of pebbles that have been pushed further back by the waves. So when
you think you're at the shore line, you have to climb (or fall) down this
pebble mound-unless the tide is in, because in that case there probably isn't a
beach at all, or a road for that matter.
The weather here is just fantastic, with
winds reaching 80mph, you no longer need a hair dryer. It's cheaper for
everyone! I've always wanted to have hair like a troll- you know the kind you
used to be able to get free with cereal? And now, with Portsmouth wind, I can!
The rain is of course glorious, super icy and wets you right through. I mean, I
hate putting dry clothes on in the morning- pfft boring.
I'm sure there are many wonderful things
about Portsmouth (or anywhere else for that matter) but I won't share them all
today.
I hope you sense my sarcasm, otherwise there
will be some very confused readers.
Of course I am happy in Portsmouth, but
hey, you've got to make light of a bad situation!
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