Self Confidence and The Sea

June 21, 2015

So the other day I went for a run. it was lovely and sunny out and as I hadn't gone to the beach already that day (due to it clouding over a bit) I encouraged myself to go for a jog down to the sea front. And as you know from my previous blog post, when the sun is out, it's a great chance to get fit. So I started jogging and made sure I took breaks so I didn't get too hot. The sky was spotless and the bluest blue. 
The point of my post today is going to be about being happy and being yourself.
When I got to the sea I sat down on the pebbly beach. I people watched as a few couples were walking along the shore. I sat there a thought to myself and enjoyed my own company. It was wonderful. Sometimes we are so involved with those around us, that we forget to take time out just for ourselves. I truly needed this bit of peace and quiet and I enjoyed being by myself, it felt nourishing for my soul and my chest didn't feel heavy, but light and free. I know it all sounds a bit far fetched but it's true. 
I watched in envy at the people who were wading through the gentle waves. I desperately wanted to feel the sea beneath my feet. When I was a child, it didn't matter how cold the sea was, I'd be in it. I loved the sea and loved to paddle/swim in it, and even now as a twenty something I still feel that desire to be ruthless and just go for it.
As adults we lack this enthusiasm for just being brave and being who we want to be. I noticed this as a group of teenagers came a sat down a way away from me. I'm sure they were nice people, but they were loud and I automatically felt intimidated for some reason. Not that I should have any reason to feel threatened but you know how when you're by yourself you suddenly become very self aware and self conscious? So as I said, I really wanted to go in the sea and kept almost gaining the courage to do so. The thing that stopped me was the thought of having to walk passed these teens, by myself, and walk along the shore by myself- not at all a weird thing to do- but as I said, when alone we feel overly conscious of what other may think.
But I thought about it for a while. What's the worse that could happen? I like who I am and love the way I am, I am confident and accept the body I have and I am proud of that fact. So I asked myself 'Do I really care if they care?' and 'Do I care what they think? Does their opinion change me?' And the answer was no. I didn't care what others thought and of course there was nothing wrong with going in the sea by myself, but I'm using this experience as a good example, and I want to point out that these people were in no way bad people, just normal people who happened to be there at the time. They held no threat to me, and I realised that like me, they are just people. In fact they probably won't even notice me. 
I realised that, like the child me, I didn't care about anything else but what I wanted to do and how it effected me. So I took of my shoes and socks and hobbled (painfully) down the beach and as the waves caressed my feet, nothing else mattered. The world around me was at peace and as I walked along the shore I felt happy. I felt ridiculously happy because for that one moment, I shook off the fears of what others thought of me, I didn't care. And that, that made me happy.
So my point is, that once we shake off our desires to please others and accept who we are, we will feel more free, and more free to do the things we really want to do. The moment we stop comparing ourselves to others too, is the moment we find true happiness in ourselves.

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