Sometimes in Life...

September 04, 2014

Sometimes in life, we are approached by opportunities that leave us questioning whether or not we should cross over the bridge to a possible future or stay put for fear of losing what we already have. This will occur a lot in life- sometimes the bridges are tiny but sometimes they are huge. 

These bridges could come in the form of a new relationship or friendship, or a new job/career or even a chance to start college or university. What ever shape of form these opportunities come in, we should look at them with care.  Making decisions can be very hard and sometimes all it does is highlight our uncertainty in what we want to get out of life- this then leads to many, many headaches. But alas... relax. Everyone has to make hard choices every now and again, just like you. Perhaps it isn't so much the decision that is hard for you-perhaps it is what comes afterwards that causes your head to hurt and the anxiety to begin. For example starting a new job can be daunting. It's all very exciting when you hear that you have been successful in earning the job but what comes next tends to be anxiety mixed with feelings of doubt, nerves and worry. You end up asking yourself 'Will I like the job?' or 'Will I make friends?'. Then you end up telling yourself 'Everything will probably go wrong!' or 'You'll be too nervous to talk to people!'. But why? You don't know how things will go and putting ideas such as these in your head will only prevent you from attempting to enjoy work/make friends. 

If we approach things will a little more ease, and with less worry and anxiety, we probably will feel a lot more comfortable. When we are comfortable, we are relaxed and we can start to enjoy ourselves and be ourselves with the people around us. I know it isn't easy, and we can just tell ourselves to snap of of it, but the realisation will be the start of turning around your emotions.

How I try to look at things:

I am usually a nervous wreck, and everything written above is largely based on my own feelings and experiences. However I know that most people also feel this way about situations that they feel they have no control over. So here are my tips to help get through things:

1.) Remember you DO have control over things. You control how you act and behave. So it is up to you whether you choose to do something or not. No one can make you do anything. If you are not happy or comfortable doing something, then do not settle for it or do it. 

2.) If you, like me, get really nervous before things (e.g. entering a room full of new colleagues who all know each other) count to 10 in your head and breath. Knowing that in ten seconds you have to do something ( walk into room) allows you to prepare yourself and also relax. If you aren't counting then perhaps you may never want to enter the room- however counting to 10 prompts you to do it! I have found this to help a little with nerves.

3.) Remembering that time only goes on. Time cannot stop or go backwards. Time is only moving forwards. So if you're worried about a long period of time, just remember that each minute, each second even, you are closer to the end of that time period and a step closer to achieving.

4.) My motto when doing something nerve wracking is 'You'll get through this'. I use this because yes, we spend so much time worrying about something and telling ourselves 'I can't do this!', when in fact of course we can! You know that soon you'll be doing it. Always think 'this time in two hours* I'll be finished and getting a coffee'. No matter how hard something may seem, you know you're going to get through it, you're going to do it, and soon it'll be done. (This may seem confusing but it works for me!)

5.) Give yourself something to look forward to afterwards. Planning on seeing a friend or loved one after said events can help you relax during. Knowing that you HAVE to get through it in order to do the fun things you have planned for afterwards, allows you to feel more positive and relaxed. It could even be something small, like having a bubble bath, with bath bombs, candles and a glass of wine- whatever takes your fancy!

Sometimes in life we face hard times and hard decisions, but life always has a way of working things out. Be positive, be confident, be happy and most of all be you and be proud. Happiness is so important and if you're happy- it'll show and everyone will know. Not only will you feel better for it, but it'll have a much better effect on other aspects in life!

Good luck!! X

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